I choo-choo-choose you

Well I went to the Cubs games last night and to the Cubby bear afterwards and planned on having "a few" beers. 10 hours later I woke up pantsless on a Greyhound bus headed for Lincoln, Nebraska. I have come to realize that I just might have a moderate to severe drinking problem. I have also come to realize that with today's gas prices, Greyhound is a nice alternative mode of transportation. I have also also come to realize that I suck. Not just in general, but across the board. Im not really good at anything, I am at most average. Everyone seems to have their own special talent, whether it be singing, drawing, playing music, digging holes, etc. Its sad, but if I had to think of one thing I was really good at, it would be slamming beer after beer for hours on end, and then inhaling White Castle afterwards in a furious display that some might mistake for a seizure. I have actually calculated that for every slider I eat, my chances of picking up girls goes down 12%, and for every beer I drink they get 7% more attractive. So it is a delicate balance which I need to work on since I havent seen a female breast in 7 years. Im off to bed.