Fresca, the definition of refreshment

Have you ever been watching a commercial and after it ends, you think to yourself, man, I could have made a better, more effective, more entertaining end to that fucking commercial. I do it all the time. Mine have a common theme though. Take for example, that Prudential commercial, where that overweight cartoon retard rides his bike up to the big hole in the ground and looks around as if he is an overweight cartoon retard. Then he pushes the Prudential logo thing shaped like a triangle up to the hole, utilizing it as a ramp mechanism. Props overweight cartoon retard. However, the commercial loses all effectiveness for me when after a brief moment of anticipation, fat retard clears the ravine and lands safely on the other side. Now, you cant tell me that you werent hoping for his bike to blow a tire while approaching the take off ramp causing him to second guess his ever approaching jump but realizing it was too late to turn back and while hitting the ramp at dangerously low speeds his non gasoline powered pedal bike somehow manages to burst into flames sending him streaking through the skies, on fire, almost giving you a sense of Nostalgia as you think back to your days as a teeneager at Pizza Hut, and just when you think hes gonna make it, as you wipe away the emotion from the last 10 seconds which has been cinema at its finest, the flaming Schwinn, with Captain Retard on board, come up a mere 2 feet short, smashing into the wall of the ravine, and decending into the unknown below. Then, to top it off, because at this point were all at the edge of our seats waiting for some sort of closure, all that flashes across the screen is, Prudential....Fuck you. In an outrage, we scramble to our computers, to our phones, and call everyone we know. "Did you just see that". Angry phone calls flood in at Prudential Inc. demanding for a safe return of the cartoon retard. T-shirts are sold by the millions, and overnight, the cute cuddly character that is the cartoon retard becomes a celebrity. Now, wouldnt that be a much more effective ending to that commerical. Because ask yourself, do you even know what Prudential does? I sure as hell dont.

Finally

The last few weeks have been interesting, and by interesting i mean incredibly uneventful and dominated by work. I spent most if not all of my nights at the office until the wee-wee hours of the morning only to wake up at the butt joint of dawn to repeat the same thing over and over. Weekends too. So needles to say when i worked out today for the first time in a month and a half i wasn't surprised to find that i have become a total bag of shit. I have been pissed lately, about pretty much everything, not really sure why, but just a general feeling of wanting to kick holes in my drywall. Which if you have been to my apartment, you know what I am talking about. The Cubs didn't help. I spend all this money and invest all this time in a team all year and they last in the playoffs about as long as i last in bed, which if you have been in my bed, you know how long that is. I am looking forward to the next few months though. I plan on doing things differently, but also the same. By that I mean I will still be drinking heavily, but I will be thinking outside the box while doing so. I am thinking of taking a trip to Buffalo in December. Why you ask? None of your fucking business. But honestly, I want to go watch my beloved Bills play live and in person. And I have heard the hookers in Buffalo are second to none. I figure while I am still young, single, and strapped for cash, I might as well travel the world, or in this case the west side of New York. I do like to have fun though. I have great friends and a great family. Now all I need is a great girl, and if I cant have that, a great blow up doll, and if the store is out, a great JC Penney catalog. I thing I am a good catch though. I always pay for Arby's, I rarely am abusive, and I have solved my bed wetting problem. I am flustered though as to why I am still a swinging bachelor. But I am still young. Well i am going to go get groceries, and by groceries I mean a bottle of gin, pack of condoms, Penthouse, and a bag of flour....don't ask. Have a great weekend and stay off the roads, there are a lot of crazy drivers out there. Go Cogs.